Am I the Donkeys Behind? The father-in-law's free house
- Am I the donkey's behind for handing the house decisions back to my father-in-law?
- Should the couple take the free house and stick it out with the controlling father-in-law?
The guest reads the second letter: a generous father-in-law with 'the a-hole gene' bought the neighboring house for the couple, put his and the husband's names on the title, then refused to speak to the wife directly about renovations and demanded sign-off on any change over $5,000; she forwarded all contractor communications and told him to make every decision himself and sign a rental lease, and is now called ungrateful, selfish, and controlling. Verdict: 'half the donkey's behind' — 'you're a donkey's cheek, just one' — because she went from zero to 90 passive-aggressively instead of forcing a three-way conversation; the deeper counsel is that the arrangement should never have been accepted ('don't learn to play the guitar off the devil's skill set'). The two then split: the guest would stick it out for a free house ('ain't no thing as a free lunch'), the host would walk away, widening into a reflection on deferred living — working two jobs to pay for a kid's college while missing their childhood, and choosing the ice cream with the kid who will never be that age again over the perfect tile. The secular advice warns the father-in-law will control them until he dies.
More on Generosity
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Dear LFTP: the $4,200 loan that never came back
- How do I get past the sadness over the $4,200 loan my friend never repaid — do I just let it go?
The final Dear LFTP letter: a year ago a supposed friend asked to borrow money — her husband had left the country to renew his visa, her car was repossessed, she had no way to get to work.
From No. 603 · Found Out
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Dear LFTP: the $600 lawnmower and buying them a mower
- My nephew's wife took my $600, lied about it, and is avoiding me. Should I say something or let it go?
Mike reads a letter from someone who gave a nephew's wife $600 for a self-propelled lawnmower; she spent it, never bought the mower, and now avoids them.
From No. 587 · Coffee After Sunday
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Dear LFTP: the neighbor Tim and boundaries without guilt
- How can I end the friendship with my difficult neighbor Tim without sending him into a spiral?
Mike reads a letter from a self-described clean-freak friend of a hoarding, narcissistic, government-program neighbor named Tim: how to end the friendship without sending Tim into a spiral.
From No. 582 · Risky Business | Christian Risk-Taking, Community Engagement, Faith in Action
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Dear LFTP: the $99 birthday bill and "Jesus always pays"
- Was it wrong to be taken aback when I was expected to split the cost of a friend's birthday dinner?
Mike reads a letter from a man invited to a friend's birthday dinner at a popular restaurant: after the birthday boy excused himself, the waiter presented the bill and the nine…
From No. 580 · Not Sure | Old Testament Law, Holy Spirit Guidance, Christian Discernment