Dear LFTP: the boss who assigns personal errands to his only employee
- How do I refuse my boss's personal errands without losing her job?
The second Dear LFTP letter: a single mom of two, the only other employee in a small office, says her boss increasingly assigns personal tasks unrelated to the business — the final straw was leaving a family gathering to pick up his pets and give him a 9:30 p.m. airport ride — and asks how to say no without losing her job. The hosts' counsel: during paid work hours just do it ("they pay by the hour... what does it matter to you what the forty hours is actually doing?"), but after-hours requests are not the job — either he pays for the extra hours or she has an honest conversation: "I'm a single mom... I just cannot give" the time away from her kids, and if he says his needs matter more than her kids, she knows it is not sustainable. They note salary size and personal-assistant norms change the calculus, and that firing her for refusing would be legally dicey but working there would get weird. The Secular answer — explore the job market, then talk to the boss with another offer lined up — is mocked as a fairy-tale ending nobody's life works like.
More on Boundaries
-
Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
-
Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
-
Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
-
Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers