Dear LFTP: decades-old infidelity discovered after his death
- How do I deal with my late husband's infidelity discovered decades later?
The heaviest letter of the night: a widow married 38 years learned in late-life counseling that her late husband slept with her sister early in the marriage and with his uncle's wife; now she can't face her sister in the hospital room and avoids family gatherings. Host counsel: the aggrieved have to advocate for their own peace, and the only place peace lives is forgiveness — not because it erases anything, but because vengeance 'will eat your soul'; a middle finger covers a wound but doesn't heal it. Be honest with the sister (forgiveness requires honesty), expect no particular reaction, keep counseling or a close friend in the loop: waking up angry again is normal. Secular's answer — publicly expose both women at the next reunion — is rejected as vengeance cosplay: it would institutionalize an annual reminder of the problem.
More on Forgiveness
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Dear LFTP: the $4,200 loan that never came back
- How do I get past the sadness over the $4,200 loan my friend never repaid — do I just let it go?
The final Dear LFTP letter: a year ago a supposed friend asked to borrow money — her husband had left the country to renew his visa, her car was repossessed, she had no way to get to work.
From No. 603 · Found Out
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Dear LFTP: the stolen college fund and telling the 90-year-olds
- Should I tell my 90-year-old parents that their grandson stole my granddaughter's college fund?
Ben hands to Mike, who reads a grandmother's letter: her son helped himself to the college money the great-grandparents set aside for her granddaughter; she fears telling her parents, in their nineties, could shock them into a stroke.
From No. 586 · Nothing Personal
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Dear LFTP: forty years of a cheating wife and a temptation
- Would it be wrong to rekindle an old friendship for intimacy when my wife has cheated for forty years?
A man approaching his fortieth anniversary writes that his wife has always been a serial cheater, a secret he kept to protect the children's view of her; with retirement and a sexless marriage he asks whether rekindling things with old female friends would be wrong.
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: the stalker ex-girlfriend
- How do I get my stalker ex-girlfriend to leave me alone?
Mike reads a letter from a man whose ex-girlfriend keeps trying to get him back, even stalking him, after he blocked her number.