76 conversations
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Dear LFTP 1: the burned-out friend
- How do I approach a long friendship that has become one-sided and draining when the friend has anxiety, depression, OCD, narcissism, and a drinking problem?
Ben reads a letter from a listener burned out by a decade-long friendship with someone suffering anxiety, depression, OCD, narcissism, and a drinking problem who never asks how the listener is doing.
From No. 588 · hypokritēs
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Dear LFTP: husband's slot-machine addiction and a lost life's savings
- How should an 80-something wife respond when her husband's slot-machine addiction gambled away everything?
A letter from a woman in her eighties: her husband developed a slot-machine addiction, gambled away every asset from 58 years of marriage, and their son bailed them out as trustee of the land and home while doling out a tiny allowance.
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: dessert-free days, discipline, and soul over dirt
- How do I stop eating dessert on days I deemed dessert-free?
A listener allowed dessert only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and can't stop on the other days. The hosts land on the simplest answer: you just stop; Dan's Atkins bars,…
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: AA member who witnessed a life-support withdrawal
- How do I come to terms with accidentally witnessing a fellow AA member's life-support withdrawal?
An AA member writes that while visiting a hospitalized fellow member with cookies, he arrived at the exact moment doctors withdrew life support and witnessed the family's raw grief; he now fears he intruded and caused harm.
From No. 568 · Like Jesus
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Recovery ministries, charismatic experience, and sustainable faith
- Can recovery ministries replace a chemical high with a spiritual high, and is that sustainable?
A long pastoral discussion starting from recovery ministries, which tend to come from charismatic backgrounds: the risk of trading a chemical high for event-driven spiritual highs.
From No. 555 · The Aslan Wears Prada
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Iron sharpens iron, and the pornography conversation
- How does 'iron sharpens iron' fit alongside 'follow me as I follow Christ'?
The hosts work through 'iron sharpens iron': you cannot hold someone accountable before they're iron — the pre-iron stage only responds to love, not demands.
From No. 545 · By Invitation Only
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Dear LFTP: the husband who only reads fan fiction
- How can I motivate my husband, who does nothing but read fan fiction all day?
A Dear LFTP letter: a wife of 35 years says her husband now does nothing but read internet fantasy fan fiction (16-18 hours on weekends, 10 hours weekdays), exercising no longer, no maintenance, no friends, and she cannot motivate him.
From No. 527 · Angels and Blessings
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Dear LFTP: the verbally abusive sister-in-law
- What do I do next time my sister-in-law verbally assaults me?
A listener asks what to do about a sister-in-law who has verbally assaulted her four times — always while intoxicated and high — then apologizes or claims not to remember.
From No. 499 · The Legacy List
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Dear LFTP: the trailer-park girlfriend and the blue-light neighbor
- Dear LFTP: what should a man do about his girlfriend's closeness with a troubled drug-addicted neighbor?
Mike (addressed on air) reads a letter from a man in an 18-year unmarried relationship: his girlfriend Jana (64) has become inseparable from Aiden (35), a drug-addicted disabled neighbor draped in blue lights who walks the middle of the street.
From No. 497 · Nothing More Than Feelings
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Declining faith and deaths of despair study
- Is declining faith fueling a rise in deaths of despair?
A host reads a Daily Mail article on a Wellesley College study linking rising 'deaths of despair' (suicide, alcohol and opioid abuse) among middle-aged white Americans to declining faith and church attendance.
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Dear LFTP: The Smoking Wife of 32 Years
- My wife of 32 years hides and lies about her smoking, and her health is declining. Should I leave her?
Dear LFTP letter: a husband of 32 years is infuriated that his wife hides and lies about her smoking as her health declines, and asks whether he should leave.
From No. 470 · Two Claps and a Ric Flair
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Dear LFTP: should I give up on my estranged son?
- Should I just give up on my estranged son?
A letter from a mother whose 30-year-old son, alienated by his father and stepmother and struggling with alcohol and marijuana, visits twice a year with underlying hostility: should she give up?
From No. 462 · Jesus and the Metaverse
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Dear LFTP: Greg's three-day sleep episodes
- How should I view my boyfriend Greg's three-day sleep episodes and verbal abuse?
A divorced single mom writes about Greg, her boyfriend of two months, who falls into three-day sleeps, misses work, and turns verbally abusive during episodes.
From No. 462 · Jesus and the Metaverse
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Dear LFTP: the mother who still hangs out with the drunk ex
- Are we unfair for preferring a clean break for everyone from the drunk ex?
Nathaniel reads a letter from a woman whose brother finally broke off a relationship with an alcoholic ex, Jenny, but whose daily-drinking mother keeps meeting Jenny for drinking sessions.
From No. 455 · Don’t Spit On Folk, Among Other Wisdom
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Dear LFTP: the hairdresser's brother and the relapse
- Should I confront my hairdresser about not disclosing her brother's crack cocaine relapse sooner, or let it go?
Ben cues advice time and Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a widowed listener: her hairdresser, former neighbor, and friend recommended her unemployed brother for home repairs and nudged a relationship, then revealed the brother is back on crack cocaine.
From No. 411 · Dudes Are Prone to Buffoonery
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Dear LFTP: the alcoholic friend
- How do I keep my sanity dealing with an alcoholic friend who refuses to quit?
Mike reads a listener letter: her friend of five years is an alcoholic who calls drunk late at night, and the writer fears she enables her.
From No. 401 · Online COVID Church, Creepy Copeland, Advice
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Dear LFTP: the estranged brother and the dog
- Should I tell my parents that I found my estranged brother?
- Does an estranged brother owe his parents reconciliation now that he is doing well?
A listener writes that five years ago her brother, recovering at their parents' house, watched their alcoholic father feed his dog Pepper chocolate until the dog died, blew up at their father, and cut off the family.
From No. 397 · Interview with Blake Stanley with BLDR Apparel
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Dear LFTP: chain-smoking mother and fiancee at dinner
- What can I do about my mother and fiancee smoking at the dinner table, and should I remind my fiancee of her promise to quit before the wedding?
Dear LFTP: a non-smoker is annoyed that his mother and fiancee chain-smoke through family meals and that his fiancee has forgotten her promise to quit before the wedding.
From No. 392 · More Generous Than Las Vegas
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Dear LFTP: 'All smoke, no sex in Michigan'
- Is my wife right to withhold sex until I quit smoking?
Dear LFTP letter: married 27 years, the writer still smokes about 15 cigarettes a day after his wife quit 20 years ago; two years ago she said no more sex until he quits.
From No. 386 · At Me, Bro
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Should Christians take people in or refer them out?
- When helping people in addiction or crisis, how much should a Christian personally take on versus referring to specialized ministries?
- Should someone build a local directory website of Christian help ministries so people know who to call?
The hosts debate where personal responsibility ends and referral begins when helping people in addiction or crisis: does mercy mean no earthly consequences, or is mercy an investment toward Jesus?
From No. 382 · And Then I Got High
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Dear LFTP: a recent grad asks how to help his unhealthy dad
- How do I intervene in my dad's unhealthy lifestyle (food, no exercise, smoking) without seeming disrespectful while living under his roof?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter: a recent college graduate living at home worries about his dad's food addiction, no exercise, and smoking, and asks how to intervene without seeming disrespectful.
From No. 373 · Don’t Wet Your Pants
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Dear LFTP: recovering mother whose support system walked away
- Am I justified to feel insulted by my support system's lack of support, or should I accept that I messed up and be grateful for the help I got?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a single mother of two: after gastric bypass surgery she became a full-blown alcoholic, got inpatient treatment with friends' and family's help,…
From No. 365 · Opportunity By Association
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Dear LFTP: loving an addicted, homeless twin brother
- What should I do about my twin brother, who is an alcoholic and homeless, guilt-trips me for money, faked an overdose, threatens suicide, and refuses professional help?
A listener asks what to do about a twin brother who is alcoholic, homeless, guilt-trips him for money, faked an overdose, threatens suicide, and refuses help; the hosts advise…
From No. 303 · Live From The Path w/ Jacey
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Dear LFTP: the wife who smokes at the fancy restaurant
- How should I respond when my wife smokes at a fancy restaurant?
A listener's wife recently took up smoking and lit up halfway through a fancy dinner; he finds it rude.
From No. 280 · Union of Sinners and Saints