The charity dilemma: stewardship vs. the Jesus sting
- How should a charity ministry handle people who abuse its generosity — keep giving, set boundaries, or run a sting?
A host lays out his wife's informal clothes ministry ('two gals and an SUV showing God's love'): pick up donated baby and mama clothes via Facebook, deliver free to families in need. Problems: one woman requests for four age groups but has one child; hearsay that another sells donated items online; repeat monthly takers. He admits he wanted to run a sting — buy the items back online, confront her eye to eye — and asks where his tolerance for love stops. The hosts debate: 70-times-7 giving vs. good stewardship (giving to a fraudster denies the next family); hearsay isn't proof; food banks have boundaries because some people abuse them. Advice converges on direct, firm questions and time-limited help ('we'll finish you out this month, then six months off') rather than vengeance-driven stings, plus one host's Senator Harkin story about refusing aid to a lying family.
More on Boundaries
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Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
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Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
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Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers