Dear LFTP: 'All smoke, no sex in Michigan'
- Is my wife right to withhold sex until I quit smoking?
Dear LFTP letter: married 27 years, the writer still smokes about 15 cigarettes a day after his wife quit 20 years ago; two years ago she said no more sex until he quits. The hosts say the wife's heart is understandable but ultimatums are risky and manipulative, they create a second problem on top of the first, and an addict only quits when he wants to. They advise honest communication about unmet needs on both sides. Dan is asked for his take. The Secular persona's answer: try cold turkey, pegged to the Great American Smokeout on Thursday, November 21, and accept her terms.
More on Addiction
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Dear LFTP 1: the burned-out friend
- How do I approach a long friendship that has become one-sided and draining when the friend has anxiety, depression, OCD, narcissism, and a drinking problem?
Ben reads a letter from a listener burned out by a decade-long friendship with someone suffering anxiety, depression, OCD, narcissism, and a drinking problem who never asks how the listener is doing.
From No. 588 · hypokritēs
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Dear LFTP: husband's slot-machine addiction and a lost life's savings
- How should an 80-something wife respond when her husband's slot-machine addiction gambled away everything?
A letter from a woman in her eighties: her husband developed a slot-machine addiction, gambled away every asset from 58 years of marriage, and their son bailed them out as trustee of the land and home while doling out a tiny allowance.
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: dessert-free days, discipline, and soul over dirt
- How do I stop eating dessert on days I deemed dessert-free?
A listener allowed dessert only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and can't stop on the other days. The hosts land on the simplest answer: you just stop; Dan's Atkins bars,…
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: AA member who witnessed a life-support withdrawal
- How do I come to terms with accidentally witnessing a fellow AA member's life-support withdrawal?
An AA member writes that while visiting a hospitalized fellow member with cookies, he arrived at the exact moment doctors withdrew life support and witnessed the family's raw grief; he now fears he intruded and caused harm.
From No. 568 · Like Jesus