Dear LFTP 1: the burned-out friend

• How do I approach a long friendship that has become one-sided and draining when the friend has anxiety, depression, OCD, narcissism, and a drinking problem?

Ben reads a letter from a listener burned out by a decade-long friendship with someone suffering anxiety, depression, OCD, narcissism, and a drinking problem who never asks how the listener is doing. Ben's advice: you cannot want change for someone more than they want it. Dan cautions that the cluster of diagnoses may function as justifications for behavior that could change, and says hope for people is not the same as shouldering the consequences of their choices — Jesus did not heal every poor person. The Secular answer advises rationing time and telling the friend plainly that energy is being sapped.