Dear LFTP: The Smoking Wife of 32 Years
- My wife of 32 years hides and lies about her smoking, and her health is declining. Should I leave her?
Dear LFTP letter: a husband of 32 years is infuriated that his wife hides and lies about her smoking as her health declines, and asks whether he should leave. The hosts land hard against divorce: you can't nag, will, or whine someone into quitting — be the ever-faithful encourager, not the adversary they dodge, and examine how much attention your worry is giving the issue versus the whole marriage. A long riff on addiction, grace, caffeine, Taco Bell, and the garbage-man bit (Donnie's Waste Service) fills out the segment. The Secular answer diagnoses classic addict symptoms and secondhand smoke, which the hosts call extreme and non-advice.
More on Addiction
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Dear LFTP 1: the burned-out friend
- How do I approach a long friendship that has become one-sided and draining when the friend has anxiety, depression, OCD, narcissism, and a drinking problem?
Ben reads a letter from a listener burned out by a decade-long friendship with someone suffering anxiety, depression, OCD, narcissism, and a drinking problem who never asks how the listener is doing.
From No. 588 · hypokritēs
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Dear LFTP: husband's slot-machine addiction and a lost life's savings
- How should an 80-something wife respond when her husband's slot-machine addiction gambled away everything?
A letter from a woman in her eighties: her husband developed a slot-machine addiction, gambled away every asset from 58 years of marriage, and their son bailed them out as trustee of the land and home while doling out a tiny allowance.
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: dessert-free days, discipline, and soul over dirt
- How do I stop eating dessert on days I deemed dessert-free?
A listener allowed dessert only Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and can't stop on the other days. The hosts land on the simplest answer: you just stop; Dan's Atkins bars,…
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: AA member who witnessed a life-support withdrawal
- How do I come to terms with accidentally witnessing a fellow AA member's life-support withdrawal?
An AA member writes that while visiting a hospitalized fellow member with cookies, he arrived at the exact moment doctors withdrew life support and witnessed the family's raw grief; he now fears he intruded and caused harm.
From No. 568 · Like Jesus