Dear LFTP: "Son, not friend"
- How do I get my mom to treat me like a son instead of a best friend?
Mike reads a letter from a nearly-30-year-old man whose mother texts him through the workday about her struggles and furniture picks, treating him like a best friend instead of a son; he dreads her messages. Will and Ella push back gently - much of it sounds like normal mom behavior, and the problem may be his lens. Boova shares his own story of his father dying when he was 18 and the son-friend boundary blurring afterward. The consensus advice: communicate boundaries kindly - she can't know what you don't say - and control your own availability rather than hers. The Secular answer is read: you can't change your mother, so restrict contact hours and stop being her interior decorator.
More on Boundaries
-
Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
-
Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
-
Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
-
Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers