Dear LFTP: the retired couple and the widow's dinner
- Is it rude to decline a neighbor's dinner invitation, and is there a more polite way than an excuse?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a retired couple befriended by a widowed neighbor: invited to dinner with her sister and brother-in-law, the wife, an introvert with anxiety, does not want to go and considers blaming her husband as an excuse. The hosts agree the excuse is dishonest and unfair to the brother, whose reasons are unknown. Ben warns against boxing yourself in as "an introvert" and says humans are malleable, that he grew more comfortable socially over five years, and that anxiety is a land mine to recognize, not a reason to stop traversing the field. Mike adds that many things are skills not talents, and models the flat honest refusal: "I ain't gonna make that." Dan urges retired people to make the effort before their world shrinks. Boova jokes that Ben's view treats people as parasites to keep around in case you need them.
More on Community
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Do accountability partners actually work?
- Do accountability partners actually do anything?
Mike raises his accountability-partners question: the standard dude-circle advice to get a buddy to hold you accountable for Bible reading, porn, church attendance, and drinking.
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers
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Dear LFTP 2: the neighbors' piling newspapers
- Dear LFTP: at what point can we pick up our out-of-town neighbors' piling newspapers and recycle them?
Mike reads the second letter: new neighbors have been out of town for weeks and their newspapers are piling up — at what point may the writer recycle them?
From No. 595 · Trust But Verify
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Local pastors, mutual refinement, and the 'pods' joke
- What word comes after "community"?
The best pastor for you is the person in your life who can look you in the eyeballs; walk into every room expecting the other person might refine you — that only works locally.
From No. 590 · Theodore Franco
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Dear LFTP: Martha, John, and Jerry
- How should a woman in love with her ex's brother tell friends, family, and his parents?
A host reads the first Dear LFTP letter: Martha dated John for two years, then he kept living with her six months after the breakup; John is an emotionally and verbally abusive alcoholic who burned every bridge.
From No. 584 · When Vanek Was Here | Cambodia Testimony, Church Mission, Josiah Queen