Dear LFTP: paying a favor forward
- Is there a rule of etiquette that says you should pay a favor forward instead of repaying it to the person who helped you?
Mike (speaker-1) reads the first Dear LFTP letter (addressed 'Dear Life on the Path'): a listener gave a coworker rides to and from work for six months, then heard through another coworker that the friend claimed to have 'paid it forward' instead of repaying the favor — leaving the listener feeling owed. The hosts' verdict: there is no etiquette rule here; give without expecting anything back, keep no ledger ('love keeps no record' from 1 Corinthians 13), and treat the 'paid forward' claim as an excuse — 'you don't get to be generous on my dime.' Mike then reads the Secular answer, which calls the whole thing transactional bean-counting.
More on Forgiveness
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Dear LFTP: the $4,200 loan that never came back
- How do I get past the sadness over the $4,200 loan my friend never repaid — do I just let it go?
The final Dear LFTP letter: a year ago a supposed friend asked to borrow money — her husband had left the country to renew his visa, her car was repossessed, she had no way to get to work.
From No. 603 · Found Out
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Dear LFTP: the stolen college fund and telling the 90-year-olds
- Should I tell my 90-year-old parents that their grandson stole my granddaughter's college fund?
Ben hands to Mike, who reads a grandmother's letter: her son helped himself to the college money the great-grandparents set aside for her granddaughter; she fears telling her parents, in their nineties, could shock them into a stroke.
From No. 586 · Nothing Personal
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Dear LFTP: forty years of a cheating wife and a temptation
- Would it be wrong to rekindle an old friendship for intimacy when my wife has cheated for forty years?
A man approaching his fortieth anniversary writes that his wife has always been a serial cheater, a secret he kept to protect the children's view of her; with retirement and a sexless marriage he asks whether rekindling things with old female friends would be wrong.
From No. 581 · Silly Rabbit | Christianity, Culture, and Navigating Social Expectations
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Dear LFTP: the stalker ex-girlfriend
- How do I get my stalker ex-girlfriend to leave me alone?
Mike reads a letter from a man whose ex-girlfriend keeps trying to get him back, even stalking him, after he blocked her number.