Dear LFTP: the retired people-pleaser and her boundary-blurring friends
- How should a people-pleasing retired woman handle friends who ignore her 'I need advance notice' boundary?
Mike reads a letter from a single retired woman with a side business, frustrated by friends who invite her last-minute, get annoyed when she declines, and tie her up with 'utter nonsense' calls and texts despite her 'I need advance notice' replies. The hosts' counsel: be clearer than you think you've been, then just don't answer — 'ignore the ding'; draw the line in Sharpie if they keep crossing the pencil line, but check the line was holy, not ungracious. Ella predicts Secular will say cut them out; the actual Secular answer is milder: keep responding as you do, screen oppressive calls.
More on Boundaries
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Dear LFTP: the mother-in-law moved in
- My mother-in-law moved in seven months ago and it’s been difficult — how can we sort this out?
The last letter comes from a wife whose mother-in-law moved in seven months ago with no boundaries, rising bills, unpaid prescriptions, and open disrespect.
From No. 604 · Rearview Mirror
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Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the senior-living handshake letter, and the close
- How can a senior-living resident politely decline the dining-room manager's handshakes?
Mike reads the second Dear LFTP letter: a senior-living resident whose dining-room manager (Manny) shakes hands at residents' tables, and who dodges with wet or greasy hands — how to decline politely?
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Dear LFTP: the fiance who games until 5AM
- What should the letter-writer do about her fiance's all-night gaming habit?
Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a woman engaged five years to Dustin, who games from 10PM to 5AM, skips chores, and gives her no attention; talking has not helped since 'he grew up gaming.'
From No. 598 · Emphasis | Accountability, Worship and Praying with Strangers