Dear LFTP: recovering mother whose support system walked away

• Am I justified to feel insulted by my support system's lack of support, or should I accept that I messed up and be grateful for the help I got?

Mike reads a Dear LFTP letter from a single mother of two: after gastric bypass surgery she became a full-blown alcoholic, got inpatient treatment with friends' and family's help, and is now nearly three months sober - but her support system has turned cold, expressing disgust or cutting ties entirely. She asks whether she is justified feeling insulted or should accept that she messed up and be grateful. Mike's answer: once the danger of physical harm passes, people face the pain the addiction caused them; they don't know how to walk through recovery with her either, so she should have grace for them, expect years rather than months, and pray for more grace than she has. Dan adds that 12-step work includes making amends and honestly owning what she did to others. The hosts agree that forgiveness doesn't obligate people to hang out, and relationships can rebuild over years of consistent sobriety. Secular's advice, read from the column: keep eyes on the positive, be grateful, and build a 'family of choice' support network. Mike calls it solid but incomplete - it skips the part where she tore things up.