Dear LFTP: the birthday-gift pressure
- My friends insist on giving me birthday presents I can't reciprocate. Shouldn't my wishes have been respected since it's my birthday?
Mike reads the first Dear LFTP letter: a part-time worker paying her own health insurance asked friends to skip presents at a triple birthday dinner; they refused, saying she needn't reciprocate. Counsel: her wishes were respected; the conflict is internal pressure — 'at the end of the day it's a pride thing... you're fighting a fact.' The Secular answer: 'please don't feel disrespected by their generosity.' And: if they're friends, have honest conversations; if not, stop calling them that. A kid acting 'zesty in a Walmart' illustrates the same point.
More on Friendship
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Dear LFTP: 'Maid of Honor Fails to Follow Shower Instructions'
- Who is in the wrong — the bride or the maid of honor who won't follow the shower instructions?
The second Dear LFTP letter, titled 'Maid of Honor Fails to Follow Shower Instructions' (not a bathing problem — a bridal shower problem): the bride was clear she didn't want a…
From No. 603 · Found Out
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Dear LFTP: the $4,200 loan that never came back
- How do I get past the sadness over the $4,200 loan my friend never repaid — do I just let it go?
The final Dear LFTP letter: a year ago a supposed friend asked to borrow money — her husband had left the country to renew his visa, her car was repossessed, she had no way to get to work.
From No. 603 · Found Out
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Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
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Dear LFTP: the retired people-pleaser and her boundary-blurring friends
- How should a people-pleasing retired woman handle friends who ignore her 'I need advance notice' boundary?
Mike reads a letter from a single retired woman with a side business, frustrated by friends who invite her last-minute, get annoyed when she declines, and tie her up with 'utter nonsense' calls and texts despite her 'I need advance notice' replies.
From No. 597 · Maybe A Word From God