Dear LFTP: how to get a friend to repay loans without nagging
- Is it too late to ask that the earlier smaller loan also be repaid?
- How do I tactfully ask a friend to repay a larger loan without seeming petty or nagging?
A listener ('friend, not an ATM') loaned a childhood friend a small amount, then a larger amount, and wants it back without seeming petty. The hosts answer: the earlier small loan is gone, let it go; for the larger one, most hosts say never loan, only give — if you can't give it freely, don't give it, because the loan poisons the relationship; one host (addressed on-air as Dan) disagrees, saying asking for a conversation about repayment is fine for peace of mind. The 'Secular' advice reads that it is neither pushing nor nagging to ask when repayment starts and recommends signed notes and court in the future, which the hosts mock as a bad way to posture a friendship.
More on Friendship
-
Dear LFTP: 'Maid of Honor Fails to Follow Shower Instructions'
- Who is in the wrong — the bride or the maid of honor who won't follow the shower instructions?
The second Dear LFTP letter, titled 'Maid of Honor Fails to Follow Shower Instructions' (not a bathing problem — a bridal shower problem): the bride was clear she didn't want a…
From No. 603 · Found Out
-
Dear LFTP: the $4,200 loan that never came back
- How do I get past the sadness over the $4,200 loan my friend never repaid — do I just let it go?
The final Dear LFTP letter: a year ago a supposed friend asked to borrow money — her husband had left the country to renew his visa, her car was repossessed, she had no way to get to work.
From No. 603 · Found Out
-
Dear LFTP: Ralph calls three or four times a week
- How can I get my retired friend Ralph to call less frequently without being rude?
The letter: 'Ralph,' a longtime best friend, retired and is bored, so he calls three or four times a week 'even when there's nothing new to talk about,' rehashing the same things; subtle hints haven't worked; letting it go to voicemail just earns a callback request.
From No. 602 · Relationship Counseling
-
Dear LFTP: the birthday-gift pressure
- My friends insist on giving me birthday presents I can't reciprocate. Shouldn't my wishes have been respected since it's my birthday?
Mike reads the first Dear LFTP letter: a part-time worker paying her own health insurance asked friends to skip presents at a triple birthday dinner; they refused, saying she needn't reciprocate.
From No. 601 · Humble Faithful Idiot